there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
