Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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