YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
