and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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