You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you didnt know i had herpes?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
