fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
