So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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