he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
