Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
