Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
you would pick up someone in the library
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
