So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
