It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
