I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
