Dual....:-)
I've blown a few things in my day
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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