I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
