i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
