Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize