you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
