Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize