Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
