from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize