she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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