It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It's rum buckets o'clock
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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