I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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