I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Randomize
