every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize