I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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