Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I would ride that face into the sunset
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
