the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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