he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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