I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
