Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
