just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I don't deserve a penis
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
