I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
