She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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