So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
