He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We left the knife in your bed.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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