I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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