super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize