Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Randomize
