i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize