8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Just pee around me
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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