SEEEEXXX PLEASE
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
