So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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