oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
