I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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