Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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