He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
