Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
