4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
