Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
