I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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