I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
