I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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