I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize