i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
