That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
