Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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