my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
