glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
