No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
