Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize